A Lot is Happening in My Silence

It has been a tough couple months, leaving me a little angsty and questioning my own voice on matters and I know that isn’t conducive to having a blog.  The anxiety of the days that turn into weeks of silence is stressful, turning what used to be a project that I loved doing into a chore.  Why do I have this need to power off when things get tough, and how does one come back from that? I imagine I am not the only one who suffers from this and I imagine there’s things well in my control that attribute to it, so I have come to try to make sense of this silence, and try write about it. Of course, everyone has rough times that are beyond their control.  These past couple months have brought unplanned deaths and loss, moves, political changes, relationship changes within my own affiliations both […]

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Getting Over Feeling Overwhelmed

It’s no surprise when people tell me they’ve fallen into a funk as of lately, and I have to admit that I am in the same boat.  Life has been moving at light speed since last fall and I have been doing my best to just stay afloat.  I’m starting to feel like my personality just isn’t conducive to not feeling overwhelmed, like maybe my joys and sorrows get the best of me and can be inspiring as well as debilitating. As I made my way into March and planned for the 1-year anniversary of this blog, I was faced with incredible pride but also a sense of overwhelming pressure.  I spent a year with so many amazing experiences and documented so many things.  This blog was not just a way to have these memories shared with other, or even a chance for me to internally process my thoughts… it […]

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Celebrate EWR’s 1 Year Anniversary!

It was March 1st when I posted my first thoughts on starting this Ever Winding Road endeavor.  I had decided to step out of your own comfort zones and change how I will make my way in this world.  I wanted to take more photos and document the world around me, to find my voice in my experiences and really take the time for a bit of learning and gratitude, and to take a new approach in my life and be mindful of my own influences as well as my daughter’s.  It has not been an easy year, and I still have bigger goals in mind, but I am so glad I took that first step. As I look back on what has made a big difference in my outlook, it was to have the support of friends, family, and even strangers… who have offered so much encouragement in my journey.  This […]

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Throwing Caution to the Wind When Traveling to Cuba

I like to think I take trip planning very seriously.  I have my pre-trip blog reading, my Pinterest boards, my Google Maps, and more.  I know from traveling with my girl, Rachelle, to Thailand and going with my family to Scandinavia, that my planning can get a little OCD at times.  When I was planning my trip to Cuba, it all seemed to always be falling apart. The initial plan was to go with my mom and daughter in either February or May.  That fell through, but my cousin Kathy had some free vacation days at the end of January, so we decided to go.  Timing wasn’t the best as I was just coming back from a pretty difficult trip to Chicago, I had friends moving away that I’d like to spend time with, and I had a daughter in school that I would have to have coverage for the […]

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A Look Back at the Women’s March in Oakland

After the election results in November, I remember reading the invite to this Woman’s March and thinking to myself that this NEEDED to happen, and asking myself why isn’t this happening sooner.  I think my immediate need for action was basically me not understanding the scale of what this event was going to be.  As the date grew closer and the anticipation of the inauguration was building as well.  I am past the point of “how did this happen?” or even mourning the times as it were.  I am past feeling the sadness over the whole situation and I have just letting the anger consume me.  I am okay with that, the anger needs to stay and keep me motivated. What made me so proud that day of the march was to see that I wan’t alone, that there was a fury that we all must feel and be activated […]

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Making My Peace With The Year 2016

Who hasn’t been affected by the craziness of this year?  As I struggle to make sense of one thing, I am bombarded with just another bit of turbulent reality that just seems to pile up.  It was a restless 2015 that actually started the whole thing in motion, I set multiple goals for the year of 2016.  I worked towards those goals, that I knew wouldn’t be resolved in a year, but had to make steps towards them anyway.  My year was doomed from the beginning, creating a long laundry list of things to do was already going to be a stretch, but add on top all of 2016’s surprises; deaths, politics, anger, heartbreak, mistrust, sadness, failure, hardships, the list can really go on.  Bear with me in this post, it may seem like a lot of randomness, but it will all make sense in the end. Step one in […]

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Living on When a Little Bit of the Magic is Gone

It has been difficult days for me, and I wanted to get back to my blog before too much time passes.  I have had some things written and saved, unable to publish because of news that keeps effecting me so deeply that I feel I’ve been more hidden.  Sometimes writing is difficult because of my immediate reaction to close off, so I go back to the safety of draft mode. My friend is missing.  Friday night he was at the Ghost Ship party in Oakland, playing music and giving hugs, two things this man is so great at doing.  There was a fire, him and other partygoers were trapped in the smoke and flames.  The warehouse party space was an artist live-work community, a creative hub with creative people.  A lot was lost that one tragic night. “I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am […]

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What Nature Teaches Me About Being Thankful

It’s a tough time to celebrate Thanksgiving, for sure. As we sit with our families over a meal, a lot of bad things are going on in this world.  Yes, I am thankful that we aren’t sitting front lines to terrible atrocities happening right now. As I’m looking back on a pretty tumultuous year for me and my family, I know a lot of great things happened this year too.  Yes, I am thankful for all the blessings we all have had. As I worry for my daughter growing up in this world everyday, I know she’s been learning and growing with a firm sense of self and wonder.  Yes, I am grateful that she is such a rad kid. As I know I have been dealing with a lot of personal highs and lows this year.  As I loose friends and learn to cope with a new loneliness, I […]

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An Open Letter to my Family and Friends

Dearest family and friends; I have been processing my thoughts around this election and current state of the country…  I am not going to tell you who and what you should vote for, as I know from the results there are more than half of the country (including some of my own family and friends) remained complacent or had been part of a silent majority.  I am not here to educate you, I am not here to represent some marginalized group, and I am not here to judge you on your decision. I only ask that you, as my circle, hear me out.  In return, I promise now that if you need someone to hear you out, you should know I am hear for ya. This election has not tested my friendships, as I know we all have a right to our opinion.  This president doesn’t scare me, but the […]

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Happy Birthday to my Favorite Brother

My favorite brother because he’s my ONLY brother, “Bernie”, celebrates his birthday today and I just wanted to put it out there that I’m glad he’s another year older.  He’s come out and visited us in California a couple times this year, but we all know it’s pretty difficult to have relationships with people from afar.  He’s really such a softie when it comes to Evie.  She loves her “Tito Boy” and I hope they can always have their silly connections.  Time will tell, I guess.

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