The #ChicagoPeacePin Project

Together with my husband (Bryan “Peabe” Odiamar) and our friend (Jon Stuyvesant), we had shared some anger recently when we read an article in the Tribune about how 25 people were shot in a 14 hour period in Chicago.  We were all born and raised there, in Chicago, and still violent even many years back.  We were outraged.  As the number kept growing this year, we considered the social climate of the city as we continued in our own daily lives outside the city.  We wanted to do something, be active somehow, but also felt so removed from the issues being out of state.   Jon Stuyvesant currently lives in Brooklyn, New York.  He has worked in television for a variety of major networks including: NBC, ABC, OWN, TLC, A&E & MTV.   As a documentary filmmaker Jon has worked on many award winning films and most recently completed Raising Bertie, a […]

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Living on When a Little Bit of the Magic is Gone

It has been difficult days for me, and I wanted to get back to my blog before too much time passes.  I have had some things written and saved, unable to publish because of news that keeps effecting me so deeply that I feel I’ve been more hidden.  Sometimes writing is difficult because of my immediate reaction to close off, so I go back to the safety of draft mode. My friend is missing.  Friday night he was at the Ghost Ship party in Oakland, playing music and giving hugs, two things this man is so great at doing.  There was a fire, him and other partygoers were trapped in the smoke and flames.  The warehouse party space was an artist live-work community, a creative hub with creative people.  A lot was lost that one tragic night. “I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am […]

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What Nature Teaches Me About Being Thankful

It’s a tough time to celebrate Thanksgiving, for sure. As we sit with our families over a meal, a lot of bad things are going on in this world.  Yes, I am thankful that we aren’t sitting front lines to terrible atrocities happening right now. As I’m looking back on a pretty tumultuous year for me and my family, I know a lot of great things happened this year too.  Yes, I am thankful for all the blessings we all have had. As I worry for my daughter growing up in this world everyday, I know she’s been learning and growing with a firm sense of self and wonder.  Yes, I am grateful that she is such a rad kid. As I know I have been dealing with a lot of personal highs and lows this year.  As I loose friends and learn to cope with a new loneliness, I […]

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An Open Letter to my Family and Friends

Dearest family and friends; I have been processing my thoughts around this election and current state of the country…  I am not going to tell you who and what you should vote for, as I know from the results there are more than half of the country (including some of my own family and friends) remained complacent or had been part of a silent majority.  I am not here to educate you, I am not here to represent some marginalized group, and I am not here to judge you on your decision. I only ask that you, as my circle, hear me out.  In return, I promise now that if you need someone to hear you out, you should know I am hear for ya. This election has not tested my friendships, as I know we all have a right to our opinion.  This president doesn’t scare me, but the […]

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The Return to a New America

I am besides myself in grief about the election, and I know I am not alone. We spent the time before leaving the states to fill in our vote-by-mail cards and send them off, knowing that we would be away.  I wasn’t sold on Hillary, but I didn’t want Trump to win, so I voted for her.  I knew it was going to get really close.  I have never been overly political, especially on social media, but had shared some things because of this election. What Trump stands for is hate.  How could I sit back and watch as his world wants to turn my friends and family into stereotypes and generalizations… just another black man getting killed by police, just another illegal immigrant hispanic, just another muslim terrorist… just another woman to be “grabbed by the pussy”. I am not in America to celebrate mediocrity and money, as I […]

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Unleashing Females into the Wild

The month of October started off really testing myself on the mountains of the Lost Coast trail, and ended up watching my daughter really test herself on her longest hike to date (4.5 miles) on Angel Island and also climbing the large boulders of Yosemite’s Mirror Lake Trail. Of course I am a proud mama practically all the time, but something about her taking on these hikes makes me really glow.  There’s a lot that I’ve learned in my life through being out in nature, and I don’t think I understood it’s impact until later in life. My parents taught me a lot of self-sufficiency being out fishing or camping. I would come back from a a day spent catching on the river and wanting to immediately go out to the garden in the back to dig up some worms to bring back to the river the next weekend and […]

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When You Don’t Know if You Are Sinking or Swimming Anymore

It’s 7:45 am right now and I still haven’t slept.  Even though I feel like I’ve ran around town all day with a doctor appointment, a hair appointment, picking up medicine for Evie, and running lots of last minute errands today, I still have only met 50% of my Fitbit goal.  Even though I’ve spent the last 10 hours working on my laptop in the same seat of the sofa, I feel like I haven’t even made a dent in the work still yet to do.  Even though I have prepared some things for my parent’s arrival today, I will still need to clean the apartment top to bottom today. By the time you are reading this, I will be in Scandinavia enjoying some vacation time.  At this point, the craziness before the vacation, it’s hard to know if I am coming of going.  In actuality, I will probably be […]

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A Cry For A Little Empathy

As a mother, I have moments of questioning what I’m doing and how things affect her.  She’s 4 and has been getting stronger in her abilities to understand the world and communicate it with us.  She fills with questions and we as her parents are here to answer them.  I’ve been a little overcome recently with thoughts of what kind of world she has waiting for her. Her mind already understands empathy.  She sees a friend cry at school and she wants to console them.  Her mind already understands injustice.  Her daily struggle in life is negotiating her bedtime as she sees it as unfair that we get to stay up later than her.  Slowly, her connections with the world get larger than her home or her classroom, they become a community issue.  That community issue grows to a larger world issue.  I know my daughter is watching me for reactions on issues, […]

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Finding Security in My Writing: When Blogging Leaves You Overexposed

September 1st will mark my 6 months of having this blog and documenting my adventures.  Although writing about my life constantly leaves me feeling like I’m exposed, I also feel like there’s personal feelings that get more hidden.  Like as much as I’m putting out there, I find myself keeping more close, like I’m loosing too much too fast.  The editing and omitting of things, is still something that I haven’t gotten used to… probably because I do feel like this blog (as in my personal life) is a work in progress. The beginning of my blogging journey started with a little self realization and creating my own ambitious dreams for the year and for my life.  Maybe it’s because it’s the year of the monkey or mercury in retrograde, but the stars are aligned once again to f*ck my sh*t up once again.  Life has been changing a little too fast […]

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Inheriting Adventure: The Origins of Ever Winding Road

The very first memory of my life was picking flowers in an open field as a gift for family.  After discussing the details with my mom, I came to find out that the memory took place on my uncle’s land on a trip to the Philippines.  I was two and a half years old, but the memory was so clear to me. As an adult, I know childhood memories don’t normally go back so early.  A young mind usually does a memory dump around the age of four so most people don’t remember much before that.  Maybe it is because we were able to time stamp that memory to a short three week span in my life that was spent doing something out of the ordinary, or maybe it was because that snippet of my life made such an impression on me. My parents both had emigrated from the Philippines in the ’70s.  They created a family of […]

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