A Lot is Happening in My Silence

It has been a tough couple months, leaving me a little angsty and questioning my own voice on matters and I know that isn’t conducive to having a blog.  The anxiety of the days that turn into weeks of silence is stressful, turning what used to be a project that I loved doing into a chore.  Why do I have this need to power off when things get tough, and how does one come back from that? I imagine I am not the only one who suffers from this and I imagine there’s things well in my control that attribute to it, so I have come to try to make sense of this silence, and try write about it. Of course, everyone has rough times that are beyond their control.  These past couple months have brought unplanned deaths and loss, moves, political changes, relationship changes within my own affiliations both […]

Continue Reading

Thoughts for My Niece That Left Us Too Soon

The last two weeks have been spent trying to come up with the right words to explain such a loss.  I have been back and forth in my grief and unable to find solace in the fact that she is no longer with us.  Along with many other friends and family, we took an uncomfortable backseat to the pain that my sister and brother-in-law have endured and will continue to endure. At times like these, one can refer back to the unfairness of it all, that such loving and open-hearted people can have something so unfortunate happen to them.  I can get eaten up in the anger of knowing that they are the last people you would ever want to be hurt by such a loss.  It breaks my heart to see the pain of my closest sister, my most trusted of family, the matron of honor at my wedding, […]

Continue Reading

Getting Over Feeling Overwhelmed

It’s no surprise when people tell me they’ve fallen into a funk as of lately, and I have to admit that I am in the same boat.  Life has been moving at light speed since last fall and I have been doing my best to just stay afloat.  I’m starting to feel like my personality just isn’t conducive to not feeling overwhelmed, like maybe my joys and sorrows get the best of me and can be inspiring as well as debilitating. As I made my way into March and planned for the 1-year anniversary of this blog, I was faced with incredible pride but also a sense of overwhelming pressure.  I spent a year with so many amazing experiences and documented so many things.  This blog was not just a way to have these memories shared with other, or even a chance for me to internally process my thoughts… it […]

Continue Reading

Celebrate EWR’s 1 Year Anniversary!

It was March 1st when I posted my first thoughts on starting this Ever Winding Road endeavor.  I had decided to step out of your own comfort zones and change how I will make my way in this world.  I wanted to take more photos and document the world around me, to find my voice in my experiences and really take the time for a bit of learning and gratitude, and to take a new approach in my life and be mindful of my own influences as well as my daughter’s.  It has not been an easy year, and I still have bigger goals in mind, but I am so glad I took that first step. As I look back on what has made a big difference in my outlook, it was to have the support of friends, family, and even strangers… who have offered so much encouragement in my journey.  This […]

Continue Reading

A Look Back at the Women’s March in Oakland

After the election results in November, I remember reading the invite to this Woman’s March and thinking to myself that this NEEDED to happen, and asking myself why isn’t this happening sooner.  I think my immediate need for action was basically me not understanding the scale of what this event was going to be.  As the date grew closer and the anticipation of the inauguration was building as well.  I am past the point of “how did this happen?” or even mourning the times as it were.  I am past feeling the sadness over the whole situation and I have just letting the anger consume me.  I am okay with that, the anger needs to stay and keep me motivated. What made me so proud that day of the march was to see that I wan’t alone, that there was a fury that we all must feel and be activated […]

Continue Reading

Making My Peace With The Year 2016

Who hasn’t been affected by the craziness of this year?  As I struggle to make sense of one thing, I am bombarded with just another bit of turbulent reality that just seems to pile up.  It was a restless 2015 that actually started the whole thing in motion, I set multiple goals for the year of 2016.  I worked towards those goals, that I knew wouldn’t be resolved in a year, but had to make steps towards them anyway.  My year was doomed from the beginning, creating a long laundry list of things to do was already going to be a stretch, but add on top all of 2016’s surprises; deaths, politics, anger, heartbreak, mistrust, sadness, failure, hardships, the list can really go on.  Bear with me in this post, it may seem like a lot of randomness, but it will all make sense in the end. Step one in […]

Continue Reading

The #ChicagoPeacePin Project

Together with my husband (Bryan “Peabe” Odiamar) and our friend (Jon Stuyvesant), we had shared some anger recently when we read an article in the Tribune about how 25 people were shot in a 14 hour period in Chicago.  We were all born and raised there, in Chicago, and still violent even many years back.  We were outraged.  As the number kept growing this year, we considered the social climate of the city as we continued in our own daily lives outside the city.  We wanted to do something, be active somehow, but also felt so removed from the issues being out of state.   Jon Stuyvesant currently lives in Brooklyn, New York.  He has worked in television for a variety of major networks including: NBC, ABC, OWN, TLC, A&E & MTV.   As a documentary filmmaker Jon has worked on many award winning films and most recently completed Raising Bertie, a […]

Continue Reading

Living on When a Little Bit of the Magic is Gone

It has been difficult days for me, and I wanted to get back to my blog before too much time passes.  I have had some things written and saved, unable to publish because of news that keeps effecting me so deeply that I feel I’ve been more hidden.  Sometimes writing is difficult because of my immediate reaction to close off, so I go back to the safety of draft mode. My friend is missing.  Friday night he was at the Ghost Ship party in Oakland, playing music and giving hugs, two things this man is so great at doing.  There was a fire, him and other partygoers were trapped in the smoke and flames.  The warehouse party space was an artist live-work community, a creative hub with creative people.  A lot was lost that one tragic night. “I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am […]

Continue Reading

What Nature Teaches Me About Being Thankful

It’s a tough time to celebrate Thanksgiving, for sure. As we sit with our families over a meal, a lot of bad things are going on in this world.  Yes, I am thankful that we aren’t sitting front lines to terrible atrocities happening right now. As I’m looking back on a pretty tumultuous year for me and my family, I know a lot of great things happened this year too.  Yes, I am thankful for all the blessings we all have had. As I worry for my daughter growing up in this world everyday, I know she’s been learning and growing with a firm sense of self and wonder.  Yes, I am grateful that she is such a rad kid. As I know I have been dealing with a lot of personal highs and lows this year.  As I loose friends and learn to cope with a new loneliness, I […]

Continue Reading

An Open Letter to my Family and Friends

Dearest family and friends; I have been processing my thoughts around this election and current state of the country…  I am not going to tell you who and what you should vote for, as I know from the results there are more than half of the country (including some of my own family and friends) remained complacent or had been part of a silent majority.  I am not here to educate you, I am not here to represent some marginalized group, and I am not here to judge you on your decision. I only ask that you, as my circle, hear me out.  In return, I promise now that if you need someone to hear you out, you should know I am hear for ya. This election has not tested my friendships, as I know we all have a right to our opinion.  This president doesn’t scare me, but the […]

Continue Reading