So, I’ve been on a bit of break from writing and going onto social media for lots of reasons. I guess the stresses of life have been a bit overwhelming and I just didn’t feel like sharing.
As a new blogger, I definitely find it strange to open up so much of myself to be documented in the public world of the internet. It’s so exposing sometimes, and not that I’m usually spilling all my darkest secrets, but more like I’ve always been somewhat of a private person.
I have trust issues.
Life gets rough. There’s things that add up and can weigh me down. Sometimes you just need to take some time to reset. I don’t think I’m there yet, I know there’s a lot to sort through and figure out.
I guess I just never realized how much keeping up with social media or writing would add to the other stress. Maybe it’s all just in my head, but with regular postings, I started getting more stressed about not breaking that radio silence. The idea of not going onto social media to post photos and to regularly write and publish blog posts started to feel like just another one of those things that weigh me down.
When I really think about it, it is not that I haven’t had anything to write about or new photos to post. In fact, I’ve had some really great escape adventures with this time and all the photos and stories are starting to stack up. Actually, maybe the fact that all of it is starting to add up is also adding to the stress.
Really, I’ve been overly concerned with the act of returning onto social media and blogging on top of the stuff has been really bothering me. I feel like a phony thinking about trying to deal with my life stress then writing about something totally different. Do I need to address everything on the blog? No. Does it show in my writing? Probably not. Nonetheless, I was thinking about the return for a while and just found myself a little paralyzed about it.
What has been a little helpful in this time was that I have spilled some guts to others, maybe a little too much, but definitely more than what I would normally share. I’ve re-evaluated my own support system to share my thoughts, and came back with some new perspective. I’ve taken some time to pull away from stressful things in my life and really put effort into physically disconnecting. It all helps a bit, but it’s only really a drop in the bucket.
So where am I with my thoughts now?
Obviously, I felt like I needed to write a post about it. Albeit vague, I feel like it needs to be addressed. I have a lot on my plate, with additional things that are just around the corner. I need to push through my own hangups and start making arrangements with my life.
On a sidetone, I’m so grateful to have those people in my life who have checked in on me during this difficult time, it means a lot.
Walking around SF with this cutie pie.
Featured image: Spending some extra time hanging out with Evie and showing her around San Francisco. We are lucky to be having some amazing weather for SF, which is usually a little too chilly for me.